I love to garden. It is the neatest thing to plant something and watch it grow (kind of like having bambinos). I get a real thrill out of eating my own grown veggies. This will be my third year of growing my own veggies. My parents and grandparents always kept big gardens when I was a kid and I helped with those, but now I'm in charge and that is scary. This year I plan a BIG garden. Potatoes, onions, tomatoes, corn, broccoli, green beans, okra, zucchini and whatever else I can get in there. We'll see if it all happens or not.
Keep in mind that I often have lofty aspirations that I don't carry through with. Usually I start out with a bang and then fizzle as life happens in the middle of my grand schemes. I plan to can and freeze tons of food this year. Here's hoping!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Dealing With a Chronic Illness
Since I was 15 years old I have had a problem. At 17 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Now, I don't want to give you a lot of gory details but lets just say it is a bowel disease and there is bleeding involved, if you need more info, Google it please. I've lived with this for 18 years now. There is not a lot of treatment out there for my condition. Basically medication, some people have success with exercise or dietary changes, but really, Dr.s don't have a lot to help except surgery, I am so not going there.
Anyway, I pretty much have a constant condition that is gross, embarassing, uncomfortable and scary. I've always had to be aware of bathrooms and their location to me. It has always affected me in social situations. Slumber parties as a teen were really interesting. I think of it as "normal". I don't like taking the medicine (because I am CHEAP!). Usually I am in a "flare up". You can imangine how tired you get when your losing blood constantly. Sometimes you just have to rest. The chores will wait, trust me, no one else around here is going to sweep!
But here is the thing, I am living with this disease, living. I don't let it stop me from doing what I want to do. I go where I want, when I want. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I have actually let my little friend keep me from living. It helps that I have a sweet, loving, adoring, fantabulousa Hubby, who will run interference for me as needed. I've asked God to heal me and that was a negativo. This is my life quirk, and I'm ok with that. I try to take care of myself as far as Dr. visits and medication, at least that is true in the last 3 or 4 years. I'm going to a new Dr. tomorrow so...well, it probably won't mean a thing but I'm ok with that.
I have friends who litterally cannot get out of bed in the morning. When you get right down to it, my life is beautiful. Bathroom time is a little odd, but other than that, I have it made.
Anyway, I pretty much have a constant condition that is gross, embarassing, uncomfortable and scary. I've always had to be aware of bathrooms and their location to me. It has always affected me in social situations. Slumber parties as a teen were really interesting. I think of it as "normal". I don't like taking the medicine (because I am CHEAP!). Usually I am in a "flare up". You can imangine how tired you get when your losing blood constantly. Sometimes you just have to rest. The chores will wait, trust me, no one else around here is going to sweep!
But here is the thing, I am living with this disease, living. I don't let it stop me from doing what I want to do. I go where I want, when I want. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I have actually let my little friend keep me from living. It helps that I have a sweet, loving, adoring, fantabulousa Hubby, who will run interference for me as needed. I've asked God to heal me and that was a negativo. This is my life quirk, and I'm ok with that. I try to take care of myself as far as Dr. visits and medication, at least that is true in the last 3 or 4 years. I'm going to a new Dr. tomorrow so...well, it probably won't mean a thing but I'm ok with that.
I have friends who litterally cannot get out of bed in the morning. When you get right down to it, my life is beautiful. Bathroom time is a little odd, but other than that, I have it made.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Why I Don't Homeschool
OK, you need to understand that I am humbled by folks that Homeschool. I am envious of their ability to committ and give their kids the best they've got. Why don't I take the leap? I can't even lose the weight that I've been packing on for 10 years how can I believe that I will not completely screw my kids up?
They need a schedule, they need books, discipline or some kind of game plan. I just can't go there yet. I have come to believe (recently) that the school system is not there to torture me or take my kids away. I need to work with them. I pay taxes so I should have some say in how they teach my child right? I have figured out that if something is bothering, talk about it. That's what you do in a marriage so let's apply that theory to the school system.
I refuse to let the school rear my child. I talk to him, "What did you do today?", "How'd that make you feel?' yada, yada, yada. Get it? I ask what went on and try to direct him in the Christian way to handle situations. I understand that one of the arguments for homeschooling is that we never used to put children in a peer group for so many hours a day and asked them the socialize. I agree with that on the one hand, on the other I say this...I want my kids to relate to the problems of other kids their own age. I want them to learn compassion and also when is the right time to stand up for themselves. This world is mean and ugly sometimes; they must learn to deal with issues young, because they only get harder with age.
All this being said, if you homeschool, wow, I am truly in awe of you. I say that with all sincerity. Maybe some day I will take that leap of faith in myself, for now though, my #2 child starts kindergarten in the fall
Dum, dum, dum, duuummm.
They need a schedule, they need books, discipline or some kind of game plan. I just can't go there yet. I have come to believe (recently) that the school system is not there to torture me or take my kids away. I need to work with them. I pay taxes so I should have some say in how they teach my child right? I have figured out that if something is bothering, talk about it. That's what you do in a marriage so let's apply that theory to the school system.
I refuse to let the school rear my child. I talk to him, "What did you do today?", "How'd that make you feel?' yada, yada, yada. Get it? I ask what went on and try to direct him in the Christian way to handle situations. I understand that one of the arguments for homeschooling is that we never used to put children in a peer group for so many hours a day and asked them the socialize. I agree with that on the one hand, on the other I say this...I want my kids to relate to the problems of other kids their own age. I want them to learn compassion and also when is the right time to stand up for themselves. This world is mean and ugly sometimes; they must learn to deal with issues young, because they only get harder with age.
All this being said, if you homeschool, wow, I am truly in awe of you. I say that with all sincerity. Maybe some day I will take that leap of faith in myself, for now though, my #2 child starts kindergarten in the fall
Dum, dum, dum, duuummm.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Let go
Our idea of a vacation around here is kind of warped. Hubby takes the week off and we plan and hope and work and end up accomplishing very little in the end. We usually don't go much of anywhere since it's such a pain with all the muchkins. We seem to have had a "little" baby for the past 9 years. Not the same one of course, we just keep crankin' the little boogers out!
This week is one of our infamous vacation weeks. Yuck. I hope to be productive though, I have sneaking suspicions that we won't be able to fit everything we plan into our week. So this brings me to something that I have begun to realize that I have to change about myself. I have to learn to let go.
Don't misunderstand me, we all need goals and should strive to be our best. But I'm talking about those times when it just isn't working out, or maybe you did something dumb. I want to learn to stop the disappoint and the shame of not being the best all the time. I beat myself up for silly things that are long since over. Things that I need to let go of. Maybe a past sin or embarrassing moment, you get it?
I don't believe that God wants me to dwell on the past mistakes of my little life. How can I be an effective Christian, wife, mom, daughter, sister, etc. if I am constantly berating myself for each little thing that I have said or did that maybe I shouldn't have. It's time to let go. I do feel bad that I gave my sister a complex about how big and gnarly her feet were but we were children. I have apologized and now I will let it go.
I had not realized that I carried around all these things that I shoved into my own face until recently. Things that told me that I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, or kind enough. They were like my own little excuse bag I carried around and brought out just to torture myself. Every time I find one of these little nuggets I analyse it now, think about why it really bothers me, then I say,"God has forgiven me, now it's time for me to forgive myself." It's not magic, I've had things that I thought I let go and there they are again, staring at me, saying, "You aren't enough", but I let go again. No analyzing that 2nd, 3rd, or more time, just let go, it's done over with, on the bottom of the ocean floor.
This week is one of our infamous vacation weeks. Yuck. I hope to be productive though, I have sneaking suspicions that we won't be able to fit everything we plan into our week. So this brings me to something that I have begun to realize that I have to change about myself. I have to learn to let go.
Don't misunderstand me, we all need goals and should strive to be our best. But I'm talking about those times when it just isn't working out, or maybe you did something dumb. I want to learn to stop the disappoint and the shame of not being the best all the time. I beat myself up for silly things that are long since over. Things that I need to let go of. Maybe a past sin or embarrassing moment, you get it?
I don't believe that God wants me to dwell on the past mistakes of my little life. How can I be an effective Christian, wife, mom, daughter, sister, etc. if I am constantly berating myself for each little thing that I have said or did that maybe I shouldn't have. It's time to let go. I do feel bad that I gave my sister a complex about how big and gnarly her feet were but we were children. I have apologized and now I will let it go.
I had not realized that I carried around all these things that I shoved into my own face until recently. Things that told me that I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, or kind enough. They were like my own little excuse bag I carried around and brought out just to torture myself. Every time I find one of these little nuggets I analyse it now, think about why it really bothers me, then I say,"God has forgiven me, now it's time for me to forgive myself." It's not magic, I've had things that I thought I let go and there they are again, staring at me, saying, "You aren't enough", but I let go again. No analyzing that 2nd, 3rd, or more time, just let go, it's done over with, on the bottom of the ocean floor.
Friday, January 21, 2011
There's a First Time for Everything...
I wanted a blog for Moms like me, but who knows, maybe there aren't any other other Moms like me. See, here's the deal, I'm NOT perfect. Now, I know that may come as a shock to you, but there it is, the ugly truth. I've been following several different blogs and websites for a while now that inspire me to be a better Mother, Homemaker, Baker, Organizer, Economizer. They inspire me to lose weight, get in shape, fix my house, decorate, and read my Bible more often. I love them.
BUT,
While they are wonderful, I sometimes wonder, "Are these folks really that put together?". I think most days they probably are! Me on the other hand, not so much. You see, I'm lazy. Shocker. I am also overweight. Gasp. My house is dirty. Oh the horror. My kids are not perfect angels. Say it isn't so. Coupons have become my enemy. AAAHH! I could go on and on about how bad I am but really why bother, you get the idea right? So today I thought that I would post some ugly truths about myself and begin a journey.
My journey is to make some major changes in my life (says the woman eating Animal Crackers while she types). Last year I finally quit my part-time job as a Church Secretary that I had held for 6 1/2 years. It was a big, scary leap for me. I was going for what I really wanted, being at home with my kids. I had a hard time letting go of my meager income because I felt that it would be such a burden to my husband to carry the full income load. I worked that job bringing my kids to work, having babies (not literally at the church, sheesh), sick, with 4 different pastors/bosses, knowing that God wanted me to quit. I was miserable.
Finally, enough was enough, and with a clear conscience I resigned from the job. Part of my life was gone. It was really weird for a while, not getting up and running around like some psycho trying to get everyone ready and where they needed to be. So I had a time of transition...and then some more...and more. Slowly, I've started trying to become the Mom and wife that I've always wanted to be, slowly.
Here's another weird thing about me, I've always wanted to be a homemaker. I was the one growing up that said that maybe I'd be a biologist or a veterinarian, but really, I just wanted to take care of my family. Am I contributing to society? I hope so. I admire people who can stand college, it wasn't for me, I tried.
So, here are some of the things I hope to talk about in the future, sometimes I lose it and yell at my kids. I'm not proud, just trying to be honest. My dishes often wait til the morning to be washed. Clutter builds on my counters, and tables, and dressers, and floor and...well you name it. Why? That is a very good question, considering that for the most part, I am very happy with my chosen occupation. Some reasons (excuses?), 4 children ages 9, 5, 3, 1, that is the biggest reason right there. Also, why I've decided that I don't want to homeschool my children, and how that makes me feel less than great. I'm going to stop here. I think that tomorrow I'll get up early and blog about what my first step to a better me will be...maybe! Come and join me, while I try to figure out what in the world I'm doing.
BUT,
While they are wonderful, I sometimes wonder, "Are these folks really that put together?". I think most days they probably are! Me on the other hand, not so much. You see, I'm lazy. Shocker. I am also overweight. Gasp. My house is dirty. Oh the horror. My kids are not perfect angels. Say it isn't so. Coupons have become my enemy. AAAHH! I could go on and on about how bad I am but really why bother, you get the idea right? So today I thought that I would post some ugly truths about myself and begin a journey.
My journey is to make some major changes in my life (says the woman eating Animal Crackers while she types). Last year I finally quit my part-time job as a Church Secretary that I had held for 6 1/2 years. It was a big, scary leap for me. I was going for what I really wanted, being at home with my kids. I had a hard time letting go of my meager income because I felt that it would be such a burden to my husband to carry the full income load. I worked that job bringing my kids to work, having babies (not literally at the church, sheesh), sick, with 4 different pastors/bosses, knowing that God wanted me to quit. I was miserable.
Finally, enough was enough, and with a clear conscience I resigned from the job. Part of my life was gone. It was really weird for a while, not getting up and running around like some psycho trying to get everyone ready and where they needed to be. So I had a time of transition...and then some more...and more. Slowly, I've started trying to become the Mom and wife that I've always wanted to be, slowly.
Here's another weird thing about me, I've always wanted to be a homemaker. I was the one growing up that said that maybe I'd be a biologist or a veterinarian, but really, I just wanted to take care of my family. Am I contributing to society? I hope so. I admire people who can stand college, it wasn't for me, I tried.
So, here are some of the things I hope to talk about in the future, sometimes I lose it and yell at my kids. I'm not proud, just trying to be honest. My dishes often wait til the morning to be washed. Clutter builds on my counters, and tables, and dressers, and floor and...well you name it. Why? That is a very good question, considering that for the most part, I am very happy with my chosen occupation. Some reasons (excuses?), 4 children ages 9, 5, 3, 1, that is the biggest reason right there. Also, why I've decided that I don't want to homeschool my children, and how that makes me feel less than great. I'm going to stop here. I think that tomorrow I'll get up early and blog about what my first step to a better me will be...maybe! Come and join me, while I try to figure out what in the world I'm doing.
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